Summer clothing is footloose gear -- t-shirt, jeans, beat old kicks, rolling out of my house in the morning and soaking in the world and knowing the day is going to be long in a good way, the possibilities as light as the t-shirt . . . but then the days shorten, the temperature falls, just enough to remind me of autumn coming . . . walking down Canal street at eight o'clock on a windy night, wanting a jacket to guard against a chill, a pair of boots to challenge the darkness. There is something confrontational about autumn and winter, something that in other years I've relished, but this year anticipate with unease and reluctance.